I ALMOST managed to get one in for august, but this is close enough to count, right? My first Sloppy Seconds fill of the year, the one where Bro is looking for troll models and a certain seadweller is happy to pose for the camera.
Honestly you don’t give two shits what the kid looks like. Your audience will go for it even if you get someone who got beaten half to death with the troll ugly stick.
The picture loads.
You’re going to make so much alien fetish money you’re going to have to hire somebody to build a swimming pool on the roof, just so you can fill it with sleazy intergalactic flesh trade dollars and roll around in it like an asshole.
(The fact that I wrote this in two days after two weeks of block is a motherfucking miracle.)
Advances in interspecies understanding through roleplay. Contains a scenario that might be interpreted as dubcon, though participation in said scenario is very much consensual. I love these three. I really, really love them.
“Ok, look, I get it, for some reason it’s crucially important that the evil alien empress send the hottest of her own personal harem —”
“Shut your festering flap, nookchafe, I’ll have you know that the position of Imperial Concubine is highly prestigious and comes with extensive training in diplomacy and requires a great deal of native intelligence and tact. Not that you’d know what either of those is.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’m just saying, do you know how unlikely it is that this amazing tactful alien slave-boy with the magical diplomatic pussy would be meeting with the two admittedly young and devastatingly attractive rulers of Earth alone? And that they’d even be able to speak the same language? Not trying to rain on your parade here, Karks, but come on, what about some verisimilitude up in this bitch?”
“Dave, shut up,” you say pleasantly. “Karkat, ignore him. The scenario is perfect. We’ll take it from the beginning again and Dave will play along this time or else he’s banned from the bedroom for a week.” Dave sputters with indignation but you talk over him. “Make that two weeks, and no argument from you, buddy. We didn’t give you any grief when you wanted to roleplay as the famous movie director and his two sexy paparazzi stalkers.”
“That’s because it was awesome and you know it.”
“It was ridiculous,” says Karkat.
“We can fight about it later,” you say firmly. “Right now we have a peace treaty to negotiate. Imperial Concubine?” you say, half-bowing, and Karkat turns up his nose and sweeps out of the room with a huff.
2. Cold Ones, Vagrant Story/Highlander. You have to get access from the author to read this or the rest of her fic b/c she locked everything down a few years ago, but. This might be where my cannibalism problem comes from.
3. The Way It’s Gonna Go, FFVII. Is it cheating if this one was written for me? Heavy dubcon, humiliation, gangbang.
There is a suspicious absence of known Captorfen on the kudos list for ROBOT ROLL CALL, which makes me think y’all haven’t seen it. Because come on. Sollux hacks Brobot to fuck the self-control out of Dirk? That shit is like primo sticky catnip.
imagine your otp meeting each other for the first time, at night, in the woods, while both trying to dispose of their freshly killed corpses
Your name is Karkat Vantas and this is the worst night of your life. You stumble through the underbrush, unbalanced with the weight on your shoulders. You haven’t made near as good time as you wanted, but the goddamn cerulean you’re carrying feels like he was made of lead bricks. You can’t imagine how dense seadwellers must be.
You heave the body off your back and onto the forest floor. It sprawls, limbs every which way, and it would almost be funny if it weren’t, you know, a culling offense you’re trying to hide. You should probably cut up the body so the daytime scavengers will scent it more quickly. You get as far as equipping your sickle, then just stand there feeling queasy.
What the fuck, there’s a light moving through the trees, a halo of red and blue. You freeze. If you run you’ll make noise, and whoever it is—some psionic asshole—will find you for sure. But as you stand there, frozen, trying to come up with a functional escape plan, the psionic is coming closer. You’re going to die.
The light drifts into your clearing and you can actually see the psionic, this skinny jerkwad of a troll floating along instead of walking. Behind him—
Floating behind him there’s a body, and he drops it with a startled “Shit!” when you meet his eyes. Suddenly things look a lot better for your continued survival.
"Highblood?" you ask in what you hope is a sympathetic tone. You toe yours in case he hasn’t noticed it yet.
He nods. “You know how it is.” His voice is thin and nasal, lispy. Familiar. You’ve heard that voice, over Trollian, when you couldn’t type fast enough and switched to voice chat to argue with this arrogant chutenugget about your ~ath skills.
"twinArmageddons, holy shit."
His eyes glow brighter when he’s surprised. “carcinoGeneticist?”
Serendipity this good doesn’t even happen in the movies. Your squakblister proceeds without checking in with your thinkpan first. “I have never wanted to punch anyone in the snout more than I do right now.”
"If you can reach me, sure." Even his dentition is detestable, snaggle-fanged and ridiculous. "Free hit."
Your name is Karkat Vantas and this is the best night of your life.
“The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into. It’s like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It’s not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It’s a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it’s hard work, but it’s the price you pay for owning everything.”—
The first chapter of my book is now available to read on Riptide’s site! In case you were curious before you bought it, or impatient to read it, or just really want to see what an insufferable twat Colin is before life boots him in the head.
thinking about trying to post one Sloppy Seconds fill per month until next year’s Drone Season. and because audience pleasure (and attendant praise) is always at least part of my motivation, i’m curious — which ones do you think suit me?
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if you wouldnt mind, id love to hear what the editing etc process is like with those types of publishing!
It varies a lot by publisher, and probably by editor within a publishing house, too. The most minimal editing I’ve gotten was with Torquere, where I basically just got a proofreading pass & some punctuation changes to match their style conventions. The most rigorous editing I get is with Riptide: my primary editor reads the manuscript and makes general, large-scale comments for me to address (developmental edits) — those are things like “you need to show the emotional arc more clearly,” or “this plot point doesn’t follow logically from your setup.” I rework the manuscript to address those things and send it back. Then it goes into line editing, which means getting a second person involved (fresh eyes catch more details!): line edits are things like “this sentence isn’t clear; can you rephrase?” and “here you say his coat is velvet but earlier you said it was wool” and “you keep using this metaphor and it’s getting repetitive; see if you can change some of them.” This is the stage that looks the messiest; there are comments and tracked changes all over the manuscript. It took me a few back-and-forth passes to get through those for the novel, where I wanted to push back on some comments or ask for clarification on what they needed (or help on making things clearer). After all that is ironed out it goes to proofreading, with a third person, who catches things like stray commas, inconsistent capitalizing, and the spots where the word “off” comes up four times in two sentences.
ngl, being edited that thoroughly is hard work, and sometimes intimidating! there are definitely points where it’s easy to sink into a pit of “oh my god if it has this many problems how can it be any good at all” and a substantial fraction of the work is pushing past that and realizing that this story got a contract because the editor thought it was GOOD; they just also think it could be BETTER. Having an editor you trust to understand what you’re going for, and be insightful enough to help you work toward that, is completely invaluable.
Okay, I am starting the FR Nuzlocke challenge tonight, probably around 19:00 or 20:00 server time. I need to clear out my lair.
All dragons after the first row of page 2 are available. The ones who don’t get homes will go to Shadow’s dom raffle, so let me know if any of them appeal to you! You can crossroads me for one treasure if you want one. Or a couple. (I still maintain that Saffron and Aquila should go on to make adorable tigers for someone else.)
k I don’t do dragons on the main blog much but here, fyi - fancy dragons free to good homes. also I will be using the dragon blog to chronicle the adventures of the survivor and her new clan. in character. like a nerd.
pee ess, somebody suggest a breed change for Porrim